I owe Dave Ramsey an appology

If you could have been a fly on the wall 4 or 5 months ago, you would have seen a very different me. I couldnt sleep at night worrying about where the money was going to come from to pay the bills, I jumped every time someone pulled into the driveway thinking they were coming to take the car away. I kept all phones on silent so that I wouldnt have to face the dozens of bill collectors calling every day trying to get money from us. We played a constant game, trying to see which bill we could put off the longest before services would be shut off. If you have never lived in fear of the phone ringing or the car being repoed and how you would explain that to your children, you are in a very good place. And I would never wish those feelings on anyone! Its amazing how money can affect so many other aspects of your life if you don't know what you are doing with it. In short, we were a mess. Something had to change, that much was obvious. We were seriously considering bankruptcy and I was actively seeking out a bankruptcy lawyer that wouldnt rrob us blind of money we didnt have (WHY would they even try??? We were filing bankruptcy not do to an overload of money!). After talking a couple times with my cousin, Emily, about our situation I finally took her advice and looked up Dave Ramsey. He seemed too good to be true, but what did we have to lose? I bought his book and prepared to nag Justin into reading it. To my very pleasant surprise, my husband read it cover to cover in about 2 days. We talked about it a lot over the next few days and decided that Dave Ramseys methods made sense and we wanted to give it a try. We sat the kids down and talked with them about what it would mean for them, what our ultimate goals were, and what we needed to do to get there. Then Justin and I (ok,ok, mostly Justin...numbers and I truly do not mix) hashed out a budget and rolled up our sleeves and made cuts where we could. The hardest cut we made was cutting out our season tickets to the Pirates. It was so upsetting to me! I couldn't even look at their webpage without crying, forget talking about the new organization etc. Over the next couple of months we learned how to make and stick to a budget. We started making a monthly menu for all meals, doing very planned shopping trips WITH a list, and every last penny was assigned to something...It was going great! But there were definitely moments where I felt like I was going to lose it. And I am pretty sure there was a time or 2 where I said some not so nice things about Mr. Ramsey and his budgets.

2 months after we started following Dave Ramseys methods, the bill collectors have stopped calling. All of our bills are paid on time, and some of them even early! It is an AMAZING feeling to not jump when a car pulls into the driveway. It is even better turning the ringer back on on the phone watching the girls run to answer it when it rings and not having to tell them to leave it alone.

3 months after we started following Dave Ramseys methods we purchased 1/2 season tickets to our beloved Portland Pirates with money that we actually have. And I was hit with the stunning realization that this really does work. Its going to take perserverance, focus, determination, cooperation, and a whole lot more, but we really ARE going to get there.  I cannot tell you how much fun it was to sit the girls down and tell them we got our tickets back.

And now to Mr. Ramsey-
I appologize for all the mean things I said to you and about you under my breath. They were uncalled for and definitely misplaced. And I thank you so much for showing us not just the light at the end of the tunnel, but also the path we must take to get there. Thank you for teaching us that we have to "live like no one else, so later we can live like no one else."

Why do all my stories involve poop?

In our house any conversation that starts with "Mom, I need to show you something" is almost guaranteed to 1) end badly for me and 2) be entertaining for others.

This morning, for example, I heard "Mom, I need to show you something..." from McKenzie. I grabbed my coffee cup, chugged the last few sips and went out into the livingroom to see what horrors awaited me. I found McKenzie, naked, on the stairs.
"Mom, there's poop on my butt"
"How did you get poop on your butt? Did you just go potty?"
"I dont know, it just got there. I didn't go potty"
"Then how did it get there McKenzie?"
"There's also some on my leg.........and on my shirt............and right there on the stairs...........Oh, and a little on my foot................Mom, you should probably clean that mess up!"


And that, my friends, is how my morning has gone. I think I need to make some more coffee.....

The weekend in review

I have been suffering severe bloggers block lately. My husband even managed to write a blog and I still havent been able to find the inspiration (my husband, who thinks that participating in a conversation means inserting a grunt every once in a while). I mentioned this to my husband. His response was "I don't know whats so hard about it. You just write about what happens in our lives, so write." Thank you, oh master of the written word.

Anyway, its Monday and like half the world, I am wondering where the heck the weekend went! Friday night I had a Tastefully Simple party with the lovely Katie Larsen and I left the family expecting some cleaning and prep to get done for McKenzies birthday party the following day. I got back home a little before 930pm to find that our darling Patriarch had decided that this would be the perfect time to take down some cabinet doors and drawer fronts, bring up some sandpaper and paint, and work on refinishing some of the kitchen cabinets. When I asked if that was really such a good idea, the response I received was "what?". Awesome. (On a side note, the cabinets do look a thousand times better... just don't tell Justin I said so.)

McKenzies birthday party was on Saturday and it went great. She turned 4 in July, but we just now found the time to have her birthday party. It was a "Falala" themed party, which most people had no idea of.  Falala is a magical kingdom ruled by King Daddy and Queen Mommy and their 4 lovely daughters- Princess Natalie, Princess Leah, Princess McKenzie and Princess Alyvia. It is a place full of tiny Snosh that bring good dreams, fish that sing lullabies to the Princesses to help them sleep, big smelly misunderstood trolls, sparkling ponies, and tickley lakes. Its a bunch of stories I started telling McKenzie a while back and have just now started to write down for the family to have. Maybe someday if I ever finish one, I will post it for everyone to read.

We have also been nursing an injured chicken back to health (of course!). She is one of the favorites of the kids. McKenzie and Mikey like to carry her around when we are outside and play "house" with her. Unfortunately for her she happened to be crossing the yard at the same time to dogs were running around and Calypso ran her over, resulting in an unknown injury to her leg. So of course we have to fix her up! She has been in isolation for a fewe days now and, since we knew she must be cold and lonely, she spent much of yesterday wrapped in a blanket, being held by various children or sleeping on the bed while we cleaned and did laundry. Then she had a bath in the bath tub. That's right, I said it. I bathed my chicken in the bath tub. I'm totally normal.

And just one more thing- I got new boots.

The Patriarch Speaks

So I have hijacked Anna's blog, I figured its life with the Keeney's...well we're the Keeney's cos of me. For those of you who know me, and for those of you who don't, I don't talk a whole lot. It takes me a while to be around people before I'm able to open up and start talking. When I get to that point most people wish I would stop talking. So in saying that I wish to share something with everyone, something that only a few people know about. For the past 15 months I have been on antidepressants, today I am off. It hasn't been very long, not even a week yet, but so far I'm feeling good. So how did I get to this point? Could you have been a fly on the wall last year you wouldn't have seen me, not the real me atleast. I was there but not really there. It wasn't until it began to affect my family that I finally noticed. I went to my doctor he diagnosed me with depression and so I became medicated. I had to take a pill to allow me to enjoy my family, kind of sad. Along with the meds I also started going to a therapist. Without boring you to much, my problems go back a ways and its something I'm starting to deal with. (If Anna says I'm not, shes full of crap) So where does this leave me? Well for now I'm enjoying my family and I'm actually here while I'm doing it. I am a little worried that I'll slip back into a funk and have to be medicated. I know however that I have a wonderful wife that will help me no matter what.

On a side note, the title reads "The Patriarch Speaks" Before you laugh, I know I have no control in this house what-so-ever. At 12:30 in the morning however, nobody is awake to argue.

Growing Pains

This week has been a difficult one for me. Natalie and Leah both went back to school this week (6th and 4th grade) and I find myself reflecting, probably more often than I should, on their younger days. I remember the beautiful, curly pigtails I used to love to put in their hair and sitting on the floor of their room playing Barbies and My Little Ponies with them. I remember the way they smelled right after bath time as they sat falling asleep in my lap. I remember the day tiny little Leah, less than 2 years old at the time, let herself out of the house one day because, in her words, she wanted to go to the "fry-fry store" (the McDonalds sign was visible from our house). I remember Natalie figuring out that if she pulled out the drawers just right she could climb to the top of the refridgerator and finding her smiling down from the top. Then there was the time that Natalie, Leah, and my friend Suzzies daughter, Katie, got into a huge argument over who was going to dance with Eric....the prince they had imagined in their game. I remember driving on the way to Natalies 5th birthday party and she picked up my book that I had left in the backseat- The DaVinci Code. She asked me if she could read it. I responded that I would give her a dollar if she could read me one sentence from the book. Natalie proceeded to read me a whole paragraph before I stopped her and told her she won. And I remember every time I have brought Leah swimming, seeing her little lips turn purple as she stubbornly insists that she is not cold and she can keep swimming. But my best memories are always the ones that involve the hugs and the snuggles. They have always been the best at both of those things and there is nothing quite like the feeling of receiving a hug from your own child. Not a quick little squeeze, but a true hug. They are so filled with pure, complete love... It is impossible for me to try and explain it. There is not a single thing in the world that compares to the love of your child when they are little and you are their whole world. It is such an amazing, all filling thing. It is the driving force behind everything I do. And it makes everything ok. I may have the worst day ever, but if I can end the day with one of my little girls arms wrapped around my neck, then I know that I can get through another day and that everything will be ok.
As I look at these 2 girls, growing more beautiful and amazing with every passing day I find myself filled with such conflicting emotions. Of course, there is the obvious pride I have for them. They are amazing people and anyone who is lucky enough to sit down with them and really get to know either of them will find themselves in for something truly special. And love. I never, ever truly understood that word until I held them. Nothing ever meant anything until they came to be. It was as if all of the sudden, I suddenly understood why I am here and what I am supposed to do. And I am excited, as I get to watch them grow and blossom and become the amazing women I know they will some day be- full of love and laughter and hope. There is joy as I learn how our mother/daughter relationship changes and grows and we become closer and talk about more things.
But there is also a sense of sadness and I think I finally understand what the hardest part of being a parent is. Its the sadness- the letting go and watching them go out into the world without you. The loneliness of an empty hand that was once filled with their tiny little one. The ache to feel those little arms around your neck and feel that pure, absolute love once more. The quiet of a bedroom where you used to play Barbies, when they are off with friends. The twinge of pain as you hear them whisper secrets to their friends that they used to share only with you. The heart-wrenching, gut twisting fear that is there as you step back and let them go to make their own way in the world (even if it is just a little bit at a time) where you can't protect them and keep them safe.
So I sit here, covering the keyboard in tears as I think about my little babies growing up and taking on the world. But I know that every single moment of it is worth it and the world is a much better place because Natalie, Leah, McKenzie and Alyvia are part of it.