So many days (like today, for example) I find myself lying in bed at the end of the day going over my todo list for the next day and mentally going over the day that is just ending, and I find myself feeling like I let so much of it slip away to wasted. I look back and can pinpoint moments when I should have offered an extra hug to one of my little ones, or offered some words of encouragement to one of them instead of raising my voice. I worry that i have sent them to bed with out them knowing how much i love them, or how proud i am of each one of them for being the unique and wonderful individuals that they are. I get so worried about every moment I am missing that sometimes I think that is the reason I am missing out! I have a tendancy to over-analyze every situation and often find it hard to remember the good moments of the day. Like how it started to me waking up to Alyvia snuggled up with her arms wrapped around my neck, all warm, and tiny, and sweet. Or how Natalie comes up to me, even after we have an argument, and hugs me right around the middle and some how that brings my blood pressure back to normal and for just a moment I imagine I am hugging my tiny little girl with the piggy tails all over again. Or the wonderful way miss Leah tells a story that makes no sense to me, but she does it with such energy and such a big smile that i cant help but smile and laugh along with her. And how McKenzie walks up beside me still when we are out and slips her beautiful little hand in mine and we walk along like that for a little bit. Sometimes after a very long and very tiring day of being a Mommy to 4 and a daycare provide to more, I quite easily forget all those little wonderful things and get caught up in the negatives.
But not tonight...
